Before you go into a situation such as a new social environment or a first date, pause and remind yourself that you do not need to worry about the big things like ‘how will I know if he is the one’, or ‘what if we are incompatible’. Open your heart to new experiences and remember the person you are sitting across is probably just as nervous as you are! When things become more serious, have an honest conversation about your history of self-sabotage, and ask the person to look out for red flags, and suggest you when you may be doing this. And do not be afraid to ask for help! There is no shame in seeing a counsellor, or just going to friends to ask an advice. There are some sane and highly recommended advices are available at Go Marry.